SUGAR COATED You are the greatest and I really love you/-you said/ Ill be here forever, always at your side/ -you promised/ and I will never let you down/ -you told me>but you did and now Im paying for it dearly/ why did I believe you in the first place> in my own twisted little way/ I actually believed you were being honest/ And you sugar coated everything/ Im even more afraid but I still want this> Is it so hard to be honest/ -I wonder/ what will you do to the next girl/ -I have to ask/ could you just tell me the truth for once/ how could I believe> but I did and now Im paying for it dearly/ why did I believe you in the first place> in my own twisted little way/ I actually believed you were being honest/ and you sugar coated everything/ Im ever more afraid but I still want this> and in my bittersweet remembrance/ youre still like candy in my mouth/ and in my odd and muddied tears/ I still have to say> in my own twisted little way I actually believed you were being honest/ in my own twisted little way I actually believed you were being honest/ and you sugar coated everything/ Im even more afraid but I still want this FALLEN Time and time again I play into your hands/ Time and time again I fall to you/ Time and time again I forget all the pain/ Time and time again I rush to love you> if the tides of this friendship are/ destroyed in my wake/ I can help it I guess Im just too weak> To hold back the battles you insist we fight/ How am I to win/ when you tell me you love me/ And then flash that all purpose grin> if I fall who will catch me?/ If I fall what will you say?/ Most likely- dont bother shes already fallen/ Dont try to catch her, its too late, she cant be saved> What if I told you- I want to be free of this game/ What if I bothered to rid my mind of your name/ What if I waited until the lights went down/ What if I slipped out and left without a sound> when I fall who will catch me?/ When I fall what will you say?
Most likely-dont bother shes already fallen/ Dont try to catch her, its too late, she cant be saved> Time and time again I play into your hands/ Time and time again to you Ive fallen IM SORRY Sweet remembrance come to me/ Take my hand lay me at your feet/ See the scars of years alone/ And the soul worn to the bone> All these thoughts as rivers flowing/ Winds of turn, children growing/ And the leaves scatter seeds/ Among the hills and the seas> and Im sorry I never told you/ and Im sorry I was wrong/ and Im sorry that I hurt you/ and Im sorry Im gone> childhood memories and girlish dreams/ ripped apart by the seams/ of a girl now a woman/ sewn in place by silent screams> and Im sorry I never told you/ and Im sorry I was wrong/ and Im sorry that I hurt you/ and Im sorry Im gone> I felt I had to leave before you pitied me/ I cant stand your sympathy> and Im sorry I never told youWASTE 4 a.m. tired as hell/ couldnt sleep if I tried/ got too many things on my mind> turned you out, then took you in/ tried to cover all of my skin/ wasted my breath and my blood> dont waste your time on me/ dont waste your energy/ dont waste all of your feelings/ dont waste anything on me> fed you, held you, pushed you out/ asked you what you were about/ took for granted the love you spent on me/ and now Im here on my knees> dont waste your time on me/ dont waste your energy/ dont waste all of your feelings/ dont waste anything on meTHE WONDERFUL IN YOU I dont mean to be cruel/ But its so hard to watch you fall/ I dont mean to be rude/ But I cant wake you anymore> so many nights I cry myself to sleep/ cause you cannot see the wonderful in you> I took for granted the things you bought me/ And the priceless love/ But I cant explain me, cant forgive me/ Dont know what Im gonna do with me/ Dont see how this could have happened> so many nights I cry myself to sleep/ cause you cannot see the wonderful in you> if I took all of my pain and poured it out/ theres no word to describe how good you would be/ and I can only see the wonderful in you> if you were to tell me all your faults and failures/ I would not believe/ Youre everything to me/ All I ever wanted> if I took all of my pain and poured it out/ theres no word to describe how good you would be/ and I can only see the wonderful in you MAYBE SOMEDAY The sun beats down on me/ Warms my face my hand my feet/ The sand is white hot, the ocean breeze cool/ And all I think about is you> If I could turn back time/ Id take it back to the day when you told me you loved me/ And Id accept your apology/ and anything else youd say> but time has warm your love away/ loneliness is here to stay/ Id give anything to hear you say/ Maybe someday> The waves come crashing in the dark/ I dont know my own heart/ I never wanted you to leave/ But I guess I couldnt see> time has worn your love away/ loneliness is here to stay/ Id give anything to hear you say/ maybe someday CAN I I cant leave you alone/ I have to know if you know/ And you are always so polite/ I dont know if you know> Your smile lights up the room/ You put everything in bloom/ And when I hear myself say, I dont care/ Its only because you arent here> can I please ignore you now/ can I please forget you now/ can I please get over you now/ can I please forgive you now> the time has come to make a choice/ will you let me move on/ and maybe its my own fault/ Im staying stuck in this new kind of mud> can I please ignore you now/ can I please forget you now/ can I please get over you now/ can I please forgive you> and I will still remember your touch/ and I will still regret not telling you this much> can I please ignore you now/ can I please forget you now/ can I please get over you now/ can I please forgive you now TIDES Paper thin/ Giving in/ Worn to the bone/ All alone> these are the tides of my life/ these are the tides of my life> in the darkness/ you are heartless/ unforgiving/ its not worth living> these are the tides of my life/ these are the tides of my life> going on is so hard/ when the road is full of obsticals/ trying to stay alive/ somehow I got stuck on survive> getting tired/ feeling wired/ wondering how/ to go on now> going on is so hard/ when the road is full of obsticals/ trying to stay alive/ somehow I got stuck on survive> will you hold me/ you always told me/ I never listen/ And somethings missing> going on is so hard UNDERSTOOD I drove to the top of your road/ And I watched through the window as you took of your clothes/ And I wondered if maybe you were thinking of me/ When your skin got cold> and I told you Id come back to haunt you/ and I told you my face would be everywhere/ and I told you you couldnt let go of me> you never listen, you never take heed/ you always think you know whats best and what is right for me/ you think youre never wrong/ you talk yourself blue/ youll never be understood> I heard but I didnt listen to/ Your excuses and your lies/ I understood perfectly well/ What was going on behind your eyes> I told you Id never leave you alone/ I told you youll never be free of me/ I told you Id ache until you admitted you were wrong> you never listen, you never take heed/ you always think you knowwhats best and what is right for me/ you think youre never wrong/ you talk yourself blue/ youll never be understood 3 MONTHS its been 3 whole months since you called me/ and Ive tried so hard to put it out of my mind/ but then the other day I found a picture of us/ and I wished I could turn back time> to when we were best friends and lovers and fighters/ working together for something good/ then we both messed up/ but I wouldnt admit> that you, youre the love of my life/ and Ive never felt more alive/ you make everything better> the letter I wrote was a shot in the dark/ I hope it would find you somehow/ Now I have again and you, youre still all I want/ Well make it this time> you, youre the love of my life/ and Ive never felt so alive/ you make everything better COFFEE Im sitting in the coffee shop/ In one of the overstuffed chairs/ Im waiting for you to show up/ Just wishing youd walk in here> The waitress stops by again/ Asks if I wanna refill my cup/ I just tell her/ No thanks, I think Ill just stop> cause Ive been waiting for over an hour/ and Im getting tired of this place/ my coffees getting cold again/ I just wanna see your face> its kinda lonely sitting here/ I kinda wish I had someone to talk to and make me laugh/ all Ive got is my cold coffee/ thats the only thing thats near and it reminds me of you> All the college kids walk in/ In their khakis and their sweaters/ Apparently the color orange is in/ I like the color of you better> Seems like everyone orders complicated blends/ All I want is simple black coffee/ Its a metaphor without an end/ Just take this coffee away from me> cause Ive been waiting for over and hour/ and Im getting tired of this place/ my coffees getting cold again/ I just want to see your face> its kinda lonely sitter here TO THE EDGE This river flows until the water runs out/ This mountain goes until it meets the sky/ This sun will shine until its light is gone/ This flame will burn until it takes everything> Im closer to the edge than I ever thought I would be/ Im farther from you and you cant reach out and catch me> Id go to the ends of the earth for you/ Id crawl on my knees/ Id do anything you wanted me to/ As long as you held me> This sand will wear until the surface is smooth/ These waves will roll until the tide goes out/ This life will go until it cant anymore/ This girl will sing until she cant make a sound> Im closer to the edge than I ever thought I would be/ and Im farther from you and you cant reach out and catch me> Id go to the ends of the earth for you/ Id crawl on my knees/ Id do anything you wanted me to/ as long as you held me> I would go wherever you want me to/ I would be whoever you want me to/ I would do whatever you want me to/ Id go to the edge for you> Id go to the ends of the earth for youIF I WAS THE ONE Youve been my best friend through the years/ Youve been there at every end through the tears/ Sometimes its just plain to see/ That all you wanna do is be with me> now these feelings have changed/ wonder if you feel the same> what if I was the one/ what if I was right for you/ what if I made you feel loved/ what if I felt that way too> shaking and sobbing, trying to say/ just how long Ive felt this way/ cant help it if Im a little scared/ I just wanna know how much you care> now these feelings have changed/ wonder if you feel the same> what if I was the one/ what if I was right for you/ what if I made you feel loved/ what if I felt that way to> now these feelings have changed/ do you feel the same> and you know Im the one/ and you know Im right for you/ and you know I make you feel loved/ and you know, baby you know I feel that way too CLEAN take your picture off the wall/ leave here without a trace/ leave me alone/ just let me forget your face> is she pretty is she perfect/ does she make you laugh/ is she smart, is she responsible/ is she better than me> Ive heard all about you two/ I know why youre leaving/ you cant leave her to be with me/ at least Im clean> is she dirty will she do/ whatever you want her to/ was that the problem with me/ that I wouldnt get on my knees> Ive heard all about you two/ I know why youre leaving/ you cant leave her to be with me/ at least Im cleanHOLDING MY OWN HAND first day on the job and Im a little nervous/ didnt know you worked here but I dont care/ that part of our relationship is over/ and I want you to know Im not hurt> you treat me like a baby/ you walk me through everything/ you act like youre the boss of this place/ you dont really do anything> dont need you to impress me/ I can do that myself/ dont need you for that> Im holding my own hand now/ Im climbing on my own now/ I can walk and talk and dress myself/ I dont need you anymore> word has it I get paid more than you/ I do believe that is true poor you/ soon Ill get a big promotion/ Ill be showing you how to run things/ what a nice change> dont need you to impress me/ I pay people to do that/ why because I can> Im holding my own hand now...

All words and music by Alexis Schuster
Recorded at Studio 59, Bucks Rock Camp
For more information or more copies of this album, contact Alexis Schuster at: alexisVS@excite.com
Do not make, sell, or distribute copies of this. If you want another copy, write to me and ask for it. If you want a large amount of copies, I can give you a discount.
Price per tape: $5
Cash or check, no credit cards or money orders accepted. I dont work that way.
Excuse me if Im a little slow, Im only one person.
THANK YOU TO: hanson, mom, dad, the guys at studio 59, elise, warm fuzzy cow slippers, turtle necks, micraphones, myq, sam, erika, chelsea, marla, and phil(favorito burrito, mr. Poopey bear) liz, leah, ivan, kat, david, jon, kaiko, clayton, emma, and anyone else who took the time to hang out with me, my computer for being nice for once, the power of the twenty-first century, nutella, smores, junk food in general, hidden inside pockets, the clowns, quack moo baa,(don't ask, it's an iowa thing) ghetto booty, puff broccoli, the road to albertane, tulsa tokyo and the middle of nowhere, all the bands and artists I like, every band or artist that has ever influenced me, which is basically all the bands I like, times square, all the shows I ever went to, on broadway or off, stuffed cows, cows in general, iowa(yeah! Go iowa!) my bed, exercise, my family(every single branch), all the cool people Ive met along the way, beth, krystle, bryce, david f, jordan, tyler, danielle, and all ya'll janesville people for making me feel welcome(dude!) and anyone else who helped with this album, and people whom i forgot to list(Im sorry!) and, of course, ernst, who has been many things to many people, a Dreamer, a Shaper, and a wonderful man. His life will always be honored by everyone who has known him. He truly was an amazing person, and he created a wonderful place for all of us to be. Thank you ernst, we love you and we miss you.
Love,
alexis